Well for those of you that don't know, I'm not in Kansas anymore. Well Perth anymore. I'm back in Blighty but don't try to burgle my house as I've got a house sitter and she can sic the cat of chaos on ya.
I flew in on Saturday, the plan being to surprise my dad for his birthday. You could say it was a success many time over as everyone who's come round so far has looked at me like I'm a ghost. It's a bit weird and must be what it's like for Jonny Depp; confusion then recognition then pleasure. I just don't get asked for autographs.
The flight was good, one of those 1am jobbies from Perth, but the airport was a nightmare. Apparently there is some work going on on the runway at PER so all the flights have been grouped together. Needless to say there were still only two immigration officers on duty even though there were about 600 people in the queue trying to leave the country. That wasn't the worst bit though. It seems that all air travelers now get an intimate rub down from some drooling pervert in hi-viz gear after already going through the metal detector and xray machine. I have some issues with this ( surprise surprise). Firstly a rub down from a stranger can be a good thing in the right circumstances but not when he's got a mullet and works for ISS/Initial Cleaning Services. For all I know he could have been emptying the "special lady bins" before changing shifts. I'd prefer any violations of my person to be carried by a law officer or someone with a federal badge at least. Secondly there was no explaination of why I had to submit to a fondling or why not everyone was being fondled. I also don't really understand how a bemulletted looser is a more sensitive security device that a $250000 Smiths Industry scanner? Anyhow it was pretty intrusive and I'd advise everone to be prepared for a groping if they intend to fly anywhere in the near future.
Still the flight was ok, I even managed to get 8 hours sleep all together which was a first. Although it is a bit disturbing to wake up and realize you're flying right over Afghanistan. Especially this week. Luckily the Taliban don't have fighter jets or ground to air missiles anymore (they used all the ones the CIA gave them on the Russians). Looking out the window you can see why they are all nuts there, it looks like one giant, mountainous, snowy desert. I'd upload a pic but I can't work out to do that on the iPad yet.
I got to Heathrow to discover it's got a new tag line: "Heathrow; making every journey better". I assume everyone from the ad agency uses Gatwick. Judging by the tour of the airport the Hertz minibus gave me Heathrow tries to do its utmost to make your journey slow and dirty and inconvenient.
Anyhow I'm here, in one piece and just about to go buy a sim for my phone so I can actually make some calls. I'll post some pics when I work out how to do it, especially of the airline food, just for Tim.
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