Howzat?

Well you know summer is here when the words "England Collapses" appear in the sports news. The good old England Cricket Team are nothing if not dependable...as long as you aren't depending on them to have a winning streak of more than one match that is.

I put an app on my phone that sends me a little message, along with a 'bingle' noise, every time a wicket falls during a Test and it was really, amazingly surprising that during the second test, every time I looked, it was an Australian wicket falling. For two days it was a succession of little bingles from my pocket and for once England was winning. Sadly for the last two days the bingles have been coming even faster as the tourists do an impression of a dying swan. 

Still it's actually quite comforting for the status quo to be returned, and it lets the Aussies return to their usual pastime of trying to wind up the Englishman about his national side loosing some game or other again. What the colonials fail to realise is that if the English got sad every time one of their sporting teams/heros/hopefuls lost we'd be in a state of total depression almost constantly. The best way to deal with statements like "So the poms are loosing again eh mate, bet that makes ya sick as a green galah" (for that is how everyone speaks here, I've seen Oprah) is to respond with a polite "Of course they are" and smile. This disorients the Australian interlocutor as they have no real concept of resigned failure in sport, what with winning all the time. To be honest a lot of Aussies can't even handle the current (as of today) situation of a tie after 3 tests, some of my friends demand a whitewash or nothing, even though this way makes it actually possible to watch cricket without being totally bored stupid. 

Oh those paragraphs are going to earn me some grief but luckily I really don't give a toss about any sporting event so bring it on (luckily I moderate all the comments on here).

Finally finished getting stuff for the trip today, the most difficult thing was buying a new wash bag believe it or not. They are all massive (like my current one) or microscopic (made for carry on bottles). Eventually I got a North Face one that's like the baby offspring  of one of their full size duffels. I can at least pretend I'm a real adventurer now I own a piece of North Face equipment, more commonly seen going up an Alp or a Himalaya. 

I've come to wonder why all the staff in the shops insist on asking you things when you have quite obviously got earphones in and music playing? Every shop it's the same. I'm just browsing when I sense someone standing just out of my peripheral vision, looking expectant. It's a tiny bit annoying to unplug just to be asked if I need any help. If I need help I'll probably ask for it, all you need to do to the earphoned customer is smile and nod as they walk by. I suppose they are just trying to give good service but really, see the things in my ears? It means I cannot hear you! I'm never happy am I, either too much service or not enough.

I also have a bone to pick with the people who think their Commodore or Landcruiser counts as a "Small Vehicle" in the multistory car parks here. They write that on the wall so that you DON'T try to fit your 5 metre long truck in a 2 metre long space thereby completely blocking the exit from the damn place. Maybe there's a discount for smaller spaces that I don't know about?

I've just realised I've got two passports so it really (and I mean really, really) doesn't matter who wins the Ashes as I can claim to be a proud Citizen or Subject and claim the ashes as my own. That and jumping the immigration queue at Heathrow, the two perks of dual nationality.