Da Da Diddle Diddle De De Dum Dum

Had a very retro evening last night at the circus with Ben and Liv. I got the text in the afternoon and thought it would be a bit of a giggle to go, but not as funny as everyone else thought it was for some reason. The comments from colleagues and from the other people I asked were all verging on the incredulous (along with a lot of "ohhh, I'm scared of clowns so I can't go"). I didn't think a circus trip was that weird but obviously I'm misinformed.

It was the Circus Joseph Ashton, a family affair that's been going for longer than Australia has. Well since 1851 anyway, which is pretty impressive for one family really. It was a strange evening to be honest, but entertaining, and reminded me how sophisticated the world has become, making things like the travelling circus seem incredibly old fashioned. There were jugglers, clowns (but not too creepy), acrobats dressed like GIs for some unfathomable reason, miniature ponies, dogs in tutus and even performing goats. Well at least goats that climbed on things which isn't really a stretch for goats. No lions and tigers but that's no bad thing, I have no problem with domestic animals being trained to do tricks, after all that's sort of what they are for, nobody complains about teaching fido to play dead.

It kept reminding me of the old Saturday night variety shows we used to get on ITV and the BBC when I was a kid, where there would usually be an act or two from the Moscow State Circus or some other godforsaken eastern bloc hell hole, along with Jimmy Tarbuck and The Black and White Minstrels. It was all a bit melancholy really, especially with the small crowd in the Big Top, to think of all the effort and practice that had gone in to the show only to be seen by few people. I can't imagine that there is much future for this sort of entertainment, which is really sad. No matter how much you think it's lame or old fashioned you have to be impressed by the skill of the family members, I know that I've never spent the evening on the flying trapeze with my mum and dad. What three generations of people raised in spangly tights will do if it goes belly up is hard to imagine. Run away from the circus and become accountants probably.

From all that it might sound like I hated it but that's far from the truth. We had a really good time and you can't complain about $15 for two hours live entertainment, especially when there's the chance of someone falling from a great height. It's difficult to see why everyone thought it was hilarious that I was going to go the Ashton Family Circus when the very same people are paying astronomical prices to see a bunch of lycra clad French Canadians doing the same acrobatics at Cirque Du Soleil.

It may appear to be old fashioned but I really hope the Ashtons survive, the travelling show is an important bit of our history and vital for the people that depend on it for their livelihood. Traditional Circuses are under threat from so many directions, from aninmal welfare nutjobs to wanky French Canadians, so I'd urge everyone to find their nearest one and go give it a visit.

You might even get over that coulrophobia.

A Wry Old Time

Woke up with a weird stiff neck this morning. I mean I have a bad neck most of the time but not enough to stop me looking to the left usually. Not today though. Backing out of the carport was a bit of a challenge, I just had to adopt the Perth method of reversing blindly at high speed and hoping everyone else just got out of the way.

It's been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. I've taken so many pain killers that I should be at least impervious to bullets. I did manage to get in to see the physiotherapist at 4:30 for some treatment. This is not my idea of fun really. Just lots of pain during which he says "now that's much better isn't it". Two things stand out here. Firstly is the leading questions all the time which I was taught that medical professionals should never use. The second is the incredible pain I get put through. If I hurt my patients that much I'd never hear the end of it. At least dentists use local anaesthesia.

The leading questions are probably a good thing actually. You can just agree and he'll stop hurting you.

Apparently my current predicament is called Wry Neck. Ironic names abound in medicine 'cos I don't feel very wry, more fried actually.

So now I'm in bed with a heat pack on my neck and diazepam in my blood. I live such a rock and roll lifestyle.

Back Again

So it's about time I started this thing up again, it'll give me an excuse to stop watching everything that HBO produces and give the TV a rest.

So wassup then I suppose. Well I've just booked a holiday for Christmas, and I mean really Christmas as I leave on the 24th December.

It'll be the first time in quite a while that I am not with my folks in the UK, or they have been over here in Oz, and that will be a bit odd. I think the last time was when I was in Broome in '96 when I met some lovely people at the compulsory hotel christmas lunch (which is a bit weird in itself really, a compulsory, christmassy, turkey dinner. Like a punishment for catholics who've slipped in their faith maybe). They were 'city' types who had dropped out of their lifestyle to travel around the world. The sort of people who gave up millions to live out of a suitcase. Of course it's much easier to do the dropping out if you have shedloads of cash in the bank before you set off but it was still interesting to see how they got sick of all the money and power. I was also away from the family a couple of years ago, but I had had a fake christmas before I came back to Oz so that doesn't really count.

This trip is to Vietnam and Cambodia and it should be pretty good, however it's the first time I've ever really done an organised trip. I hope to god it's not too much "be back for the bus at 2 pm, that gives you a full 20 minutes to explore Ho Chi Minh City". I purposely chose a company that gives you a few days in each place, none of that today's Tuesday so it must be Angkor Wat feeling. And hopefully not too much temple fatigue - an almost fatal disease in asia in my experience.

So far it's been a bit different to all the other places in Asia I've been, even in the organising. For example Vietnam requires you to have a visa, and not only that you have to get it before you arrive, and not only that you can only get it by posting your passport to their Embassy in Canberra so they can stick a label in it. Or of course, as their website says, you can just drop it off and pick it up three days later. This may indicate a slight misunderstanding of the size of Australia. Or they think we all live in Canberra, which is something even the Canberra residents wont admit to. I have to admit it is a bit nerve wracking sending my only proof of citizenship to a foreign embassy, especially one that is communist and proud of it. I wonder how many copies they made of it? It did come back pretty quickly though which is quite impressive. The Cambodian visa you can get online, they email you a label to staple (!) into your passport. I am not expecting this to go without a hitch as it looks so home made it's just laughable. The passport photo I sent them has got a bit squished in the process and I look like I weigh 150kgs. At least I should get some compliments from the border guards on my biggest looser participation.

So all the paperwork is sorted and I've got some money too. For the first time the exchange rate is working in my favour as the Australian peso finally has the power to buy a decent amount of US dollars. Not that I'm planning on spending too many as I am a wicked haggler when in a poor country. I love to wring the last cent out of the impoverished locals. This is not true obviously. When I get to a haggling country I come over all British and just pay what they ask. It's just all too much like hard work otherwise and it's still pretty cheap even if you pay the full price. I am fully aware that this is considered very bad form among the 'traveller' fraternity but to be honest I dont give a toss. At least when I travel I put some money into the local economy, unlike those smug bastards who take great pleasure in the fact that they have travelled all the way from London to Karachi on $4 a day and the smell of an empty Mars bar wrapper. I don't care, holidays are meant to be pleasurable not like being sent to the gulag. This is how all Backpacker Lodges are in my mind. Like One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich.

End on a literary reference, that's class that is.