OK this might be a long post as I have got so far behind.
Firstly, I may have given the impression that Jetstar (or Jet* or Jet'star' or JetStar, whatever) is a pretty good airline. I would like to disabuse you of that notion right now as the flight back from Melbourne was a complete nightmare. The 'plane must have been configured differently from the one going over as I had 11" of room between the front of my seat cushion and the back of the seat in front. Of course you have to take a couple of inches off that for the pocket full of shit on the back of the seat in front. I thought I'd be OK as there were two empty seats next to me, but my heart sank when I saw the two very fat ladies walking down the aisle towards me. Bugger. They jammed themselves into the window and middle seat and that was all they could do for the whole flight, they actually filled the entire space between the seat back behind them and in front of them. They must have been so uncomfortable, I mean the one next to me had the seat belt on and there was no little bit of strap to adjust as the thing was at full stretch. They spent the entire flight scoffing lollies. A suggestion ladies: If you ate less lollies you might not be so fat and then we might all have a more comfortable flight!
Anyway apart from the flight back the trip was great. I had a few days in Melbourne first and did a bit of shopping. Actually I didn't buy much as it seems that I am either too old or too fat to buy any clothes at present. When did 30" waist trousers become the normal size, and who are the medium shirts meant to fit? I mean I'm not fat, but I couldn't fit into half the stuff I tried on, even though it was allegedly my size. I couldn't even do up the 36" shorts in one place! I think the Chinese must use different size standards to us, maybe their inches are smaller than our so they make all the clothes too small to fit Westerners. The only place that redeemed the shopping experience was American Apparel. This place was recommended to me by my mate Andrew before I went to the US, and it is absolutely great. I think I've raved about them before somewhere but I'm doing it again. They sell pretty basic but very cool stuff. I bought a few t-shirts in the US and a few in the UK and now I can get them in Oz too. But only Melbourne and Sydney so far sadly. The best thing of all though is none of their stuff is made in China. So I can buy without guilt at the thought of some poor sod in Shenzen getting paid $2 a day to make the $40 shirts I buy. Also all their stuff fits.
I hired a car to drive down to Jon and Carol's place which was probably not the best plan. Driving in Melbourne is a nightmare what with all the trams, weird hook-turns, cycle lanes, fairways, shared zones and toll roads. Add to that the Victorian Police's obsession with nicking and threatening drivers and you get an interesting couple of days. It's no wonder the road toll in Victoria is so high. You can't look where you are going as you're too busy staring at the speedo wondering if you are 3kms over the limit (that's what the Vic cops think is a fair margin of error. Interesting seeing as the Australian Design Rules for vehicle speedometers allows for a 10% inaccuracy). If you're not watching your speedo your attention is constantly distracted by all the roadside ads, from the cops and government, warning of dire consequences for the sin of going 113 kph or touching your mobile 'phone in the car or, apparently the biggest sin now, feeling sleepy. Here's a tip: get rid of some of the roadside crap and try to have normal road rules and perhaps people will be able to concentrate on driving their cars in stead of not trying to break one of the millions of weird rules.
It was great to catch up with Jon and Carol and the kids, they are all getting really big now. The kids that is, not J and C, they're still the same size as ever. They live in a little town about 4 hours from Melbourne and it's like being in an episode of A Country Practice. I mean they know all their neighbours, they have a paddock and he's the local GP. Everywhere we went people said hello, I think this is the reason they want to move. Nothing worse than your patients knowing where you live in my experience. The kids have got a trampoline too, so I am awaiting a frantic call asking how to fix smashed front teeth at some point in the future.
When I got back to Perth I realised how small, characterless and old fashioned it is here compared to a full size city like Melbourne. I can't really explain why it feels like it but it does. Maybe it'll get better when they actually finish building Perth. It could also be something to do with the way Perth's developed. It's mostly urban sprawl as noted before, but in Melbourne, and most European cities, you have a more organic feel. There are more little towns within the greater spread of the City. For example in Melbourne you have the likes of Hawthorn and Prahran and lots of other little self contained shopping and residential areas which are like towns in themselves. In Perth, once you get out of the immediate, older part of the city these just don't exist. Pity really.
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