Bye Bye Broadway

Well my last post from New York, and the last for a while as my folks have only got dial up - can you imagine that?

Like the end of all trips it's just trying to kill time till I have to go to the airport now, sitting in the hotel lobby watching the Italian kids getting really frustrated with the Microsoft Surface demo table over there. Should get a Mac.

I just had a last wander round Little Italy and had some lunch. It was a pulled pork sandwich, which sounds vaguely pornographic but was basically barbeque pork shredded in a burger bun. Then I went back to Rice to Riches as I seem to have formed a rice pudding addiction since I've been here.

So thanks for reading so far. There will be a hiatus due to the connection issues, and the fact that very little of interest is going to happen for a couple of weeks, but check back every so often as I will be updating when I have something interesting to say. That'll be a first.

Germanglasses

Tim has helpfully provided this link to explain German spectacles:

"If you want to know what German glasses look like, look no further than a German-language copy of any Harry Potter novel.

For instance: Harry Potter und der Halbblutprinz "

Artistic licence

The Metropolitan Museum Of Art is one of the richest galleries in the world, and boy can you tell. The place is a constant stream of old and new masterpieces. Klimt, Pissarro, Van Gogh, Monet, Picasso, Singer-Sargent, Modigliano they got 'em all. It's a bit overwhelming really as you just get over seeing van Gogh's Irises (valued at over $100 million) when you turn a corner and there is Monet's "Bridge over a pond of water lillies", then a string of Turners and a run of Whistlers. Then there are all the modern works too by Warhol, DeKooning, Rothko etc. The list is endless. Then you go into another wing and it's full of Roman, Greek and ancient Babylonian treasures (which did make me wonder if the Greek government is trying to get all their stuff back from other museums, not the just the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum). There seems to be a lot of people in New York who leave all their art or money to the Met. Must be trying to buy a bit of immortality I suppose but good on them, at least the rest of us mere mortals can enjoy all this stuff.

It's much preferable to those billionaires who decide to spend their money building temples to themselves and their glory. I talking about you Donald Trump. I went into the Trump Tower today and I'll tell you money certainly doesn't buy taste. The whole place looks like the foyer of a Hilton Hotel circa 1982. Brown marble, gold plated door handles, water features and escalators going in every direction. It's interesting to compare to the other vanity projects in the city: The Rockefeller Center and Chrysler Building. These are both extravagant and obviously very expensive and built by megalomaniacs but I somehow don't think that the Trump Tower will date as elegantly. 

Just like The Don's hair.

Soup Nazi

Today I have walked my feet to stumps. I won't go into it all but I have walked miles. You know when you think "I'll just stroll a bit further down here" and then find you've walked 8 miles down Fifth Avenue. 

I've realised that you can pretty much spot any nationality when you are on holiday. I don't really know how, but you can. For example the Australian couple I saw in the Rockefeller Centre. I just knew they were Aussies before they even opened their mouths. The Germans are easy - it's the spectacles. I can't exactly say what I mean but there is a certain thing as germanspecs. Tim will understand. The English are always easy because they either look scared, are wearing a nice sensible cardigan, or have taken their shirts off at the first opportunity. For example today I was on the Brooklyn Bridge and there was one bloke with his shirt off and tucked into his belt. I though "I bet he's English" and he was. The Scottish can be identified by only ever wearing football shirts: usually Hearts or Celtic. The Spanish are all very tanned and seem to travel in huge family groups of mum, dad, kids and grandparents. The French just always look immaculate, are smoking and don't wear socks. Ever. I know this all sounds like stereotyping but, you know, there is truth in all stereotypes.

As I was walking round today I realised that America really is in a bit of a recession. All the shops are empty even though there are lots of people around. It's really odd but the only people who seem to be spending money are the tourists. I'm not sure that the sale of "I 'heart' NY" shirts can save the economy. I'm sure it would help if the shops didn't have so many staff to pay. I have been in some places with three sales assistants in a store the size of a railway carriage. It's like that everywhere here, loads of people working in the shops with nothing to do. They must get so bored. You can eat cheaply here though. Today I had soup at The Soup Man. This is the chain founded by the guy made famous by the Seinfeld episode about the soup nazi. Who knew he was real? I got a bowl of beautiful mulligatawny soup, bread, a tuna wrap, an orange and a drink for only $7. Fantastic. However I did wipe out any savings by having a $6 bowl of rice pudding after. Can you believe there is a place in NYC that only sells rice pudding? It's called Rice To Riches and it's the most fantastic rice pudding I have ever had. I may have to go back. This is what you call real niche marketing. There is even a place here that only sells peanut butter sandwiches. I noticed something else when I got my soup. When I went in the place was empty, I sat in the window and in minutes the place was full. Why does this happen? My dad used to say that the Little Chefs in the UK used to pay people to sit in the window to encourage people to go in, maybe all the extra staff in the shops here should be paid to sit in window seats in empty restaurants. Kill two birds with one stone.

I was gong to go see a show on Broadway this evening but sadly only two had tickets available. One was "Xanadu", based on the Olivia Newton-John movie. I may have an Australian passport now but I draw the line at some things. The other was called "Spring Awakening" - a musical about twelve children and their sexual awakening in a repressive German town.

Maybe I'll just stay in and watch Mythbusters.

New pics posted here.

Today I have decided I do love New York City after all. I spent the day wandering around the West, East and Greenwich Villages, SoHo and NoHo. They are all beautiful and have far more locals and less tourists for some reason. I can see why Greenwich Village is the place most people want to live. It's all trees, cobbled streets and old buildings. I saw a nice 3 bed place for sale. Can anyone lend me $7,000,000? I also discovered that walking 'a block' in this town can mean two very different things. North and south it's not very far, east and west it's time to lace up the hiking boots. Bear that in mind if you are here. It's been a bit easier since I worked out the Subway system. However I never want to hear any complaints about the Tube being dirty and old and crappy again. The stations here are filthy. The system here is also designed to confuse visitors as much as possible. How I long for a nice clear diagrammatic map like London. Or actually any map at all. I realised today that each station only has one system map, usually hidden round a corner, and once you get through the turnstile there are none. At all. So if you don't know where you are going before you get to the platform you are in for a very short ride.

I had the slightly bizarre experience of seeing a signed picture of Ainsley Harriott up in a diner where I had breakfast this morning. Is he even famous here? Or anywhere? It did make me wonder if these people walk around with signed headshots to give out at every establishment they go shopping in. I've seen them everywhere here. I now know where James Gandolfini get's his eyes tested.

My love affair was sorely tested this afternoon however after spending a lovely hour in the US Postal Service. I just had two little packages to post. After queueing for 45 minutes at one counter I was directed to the automatic postal machine. This is like a very complicated, self-service franking machine. After another 20 minutes in the queue I finally managed to get some postage on my parcels. This is when I got abused by the woman performing customer service. Apparently you can't do international postage at the automatic machine, even though it let me and I'd been sent there by another USPS employee. When I tried to explain this I was shouted down. "You people are always trying to buck the system" she shouts at me! You people? You people! I assume she meant "you foreigners". I think I was just racially abused. By a black woman. What an odd experience. If I hadn't been so shocked and hadn't been in there so long I think I'd have been more angry. Should I complain? Is there any point.

Suffice to say I can now understand this definition:

Going postal

Going postal is a US slang term for a form of mass murder or killing spree, generally induced by job stress. The term comes from a series of US Postal Service workers whom in the 1980's had mental breakdowns on the job and returned to the workplace with a gun, severly injuring their coworkers. In 2000 the USPS released a study which it said refuted the belief that postal employees were particularly prone to his behaviour, claiming instead that workplace violence at USPS was around the average for comparable US workplaces.

Usage: "If the boss keeps giving me a hard time, I'm going to go postal."

I wonder if it applies to their customers too?

NY Squared

There are two things about New York City in August that you need to know.

1] It's expensive. I paid $20 for a salad last night and $6 for a coffee today. Let's just call it practice for London prices.

2] It's hot. Really hot. Actually it's not so much hot as very humid. Like being back in the tropics but with a lot more carbon monoxide in the air.

I've not fallen completely in love with New York yet. I thought I would but not yet. It may be because I've been travelling for so long now and I just need to stop and have a holiday from my holiday for a while. Maybe it's because the hotel is a bit crap. Especially considering how much I'm paying for it. Some advice: avoid Sheratons if you can. Over priced, tatty and with staff who are so unprofessional it made my head hurt. I can see why the one in Perth lost it's stars.  Pity as I was hoping this was going to be a nice place to finish off the trip. Still it's only a place to sleep I guess and at least I'm not in a hostel.

The city seems to be full of Europeans at the moment, I'm guessing because their Euros are pummeling the dollar so much. It's interesting to see that the orange fake tan still seems to be extremely popular in some parts of the world. I've also rediscovered the fact the the Italians and Spanish seem incapable of standing in a queue. It was fairly hilarious seeing the staff at the Museum of Modern Art trying to corral then into a line this morning to buy tickets. An impossible task by the looks of it. MoMA was packed, just like the one in San Francisco. I wonder when the popularity of contemporary art is going to peter out again so I can get a good look at the Matisses and Wharhols? It was here that I had the $6 coffee, no wonder it was the only part of the gallery that had no people in it.

I went up the Rockefeller Centre as well today which was great. A tip from Andrew and Kath who rightly pointed out that if you go up the Empire State Building then the only building you can't see is the Empire State Building. There was security to get in, obviously, with more of those rent-a-goons in charge. I've noticed that the US has taken on one thing from it's German immigrants and that's a love of uniforms. The security guards at the Rockefeller were decked out like Soviet Field Marshals: big hats, brocade, stripe the works. It's the same with the doormen and bell hops in the hotel. I have no idea who are cops, security guards or just the guys who get taxis for you. This could lead to trouble.

When you are 70 floors up you notice that nearly all the new buildings in Manhattan have got spires/spkies/phallic projections on them. It looks like the whole place is trying to win the tallest building competition until the Freedom Tower gets built (which also has a big spike on the top, presumably to say "Up yours, you knock down two towers and we build an even taller one!" to the world).

You do see some interesting sights in New York, for example today I have seen a gaggle of Drag Queens outside the Today studios in full rig at 8 am, three different Elvises in different places and two Hispanic ladies having a massive Jerry Springer moment in the middle of Fifth Avenue. I also saw Matt Lauer - he's the American Kochie. If you watched the Today Show this morning you'd have seen me walk by looking lost and wondering what all the people were doing out at that time of the morning.

Should pay more attention to that guide book.

Convention-invention

OK so it wasn't that long to my next post. I'm sitting at Denver Airport, again, trying to kill three hours, again, till my flight goes to NYC. It's a bit bonkers here as the Democratic Convention starts today in Denver and there are Obama fans everywhere. I just bought the following at the newsagent:

Either it'll be a collectors item because he wins, or because he looses. I also just saw Madeline Albright. She's tiny. 

No sign of Hillary yet though.

Freedom!

Firstly to clear something up, the picture below was taken by me when I was actually at The Devil's Tower yesterday. It's not just a random picture off the internet for no reason.

OK so today I went to Mount Rushmore. I had another of those weird feelings that I'd been there before, so ubiquitous is it in pop culture. It was not what I was expecting and then again everything I was expecting. Firstly it is spectacularly well organised, huge multi story car park, walking trails shops, cafés and more shops. The image I had in my head was that it was in the middle of nowhere like most other national parks, but no. It is firmly on the tourist trail. The carving of the mountain itself is an amazing engineering feat but the rest of the place has a whiff of the propaganda ministry about it. For example the sub title of Mount Rushmore is "Shrine of Democracy". The evening lighting ceremony involves the national anthem, a memorial for America's military and the showing of the film "Freedom: America's legacy". Can you see why I didn't stay for it? For a cynical person like me it was all a bit odd, especially as being raised in the UK means you can never be "proud" of your legacy (what with being evil empire builders and repressors of freedom and all that). It is amazing that the american people have this great pride in their Constitution and freedoms while their government is trampling all over those same freedoms in the name of "security". 

It's a pity as I do actually like it here in spite of my pathological unease around any form of nationalism. And it's everywhere here. Even the shopping centre I just went into has a "Shrine of Freedom" on the wall consisting of facsimiles of the constitution etc. and a memorial to the forces. While I was on the coast in the big cities I thought that all the jingoism may have been a beat up by the foreign media, but when you come here, to the country away from the liberal cities you realise that the US is still VERY traditional, conservative and has a strong military and religious streak. I suppose that's what you get when your country is settled by religious fundamentalists and then forms a republic after a military campaign. I do however have faith in the people here to get a grip of their politicians and bring some sanity back to their policies. 

Some other random observations that I haven't blogged about before can go here now, as I have officially run out of things to do in South Dakota, and have to fill time until I fly out in the morning:

Road Rules: I still can't get my head around the 4 way stop. I think it's like a roundabout without the roundabout, you have to give way to the left, but I generally just wait until everyone else has gone and then drive off. The road signs here are also odd. The US seems determined to be different and not use the ISO signs that everyone else in the world has. I have no idea how many important instructions I've ignored because I didn't understand the sign. You have to be careful though as the cop cars are almost invisible here in South Dakota. They are painted beige and have lights on the top that are only about 4 cm high, meaning you cannot spot them in the distance at all! I do think there is one thing that should be copied world wide and that is the ability to turn right on red signals (or left if you drive on the left I suppose). It's great and keeps things moving at the junctions.

Photo ID: I bought beer in WalMart the other day and I had to show ID. I'm very flattered but I'm pretty sure I don't look under 21 any more. I was also surprised that the lady in a supermarket in the middle of South Dakota was able to tell that my Australian driving licence was authentic. They must have a great training program at WalMart. This has also occurred to me when I've shown the licence at every hotel check-in and bank when cashing a travellers cheque. This is apparently for "security" but how can any of these people say that my ID is real when I am pretty sure they have never seen an Australian licence before? This is a perfect example of the "theatre of security"; we do something that appears to make everyone safer but actually does nothing but appear to make everyone safer.

Shopping: There seems to be a very fine line between antiques and junk in America. Pretty much every 'antique' shop I've seen so far looks like an oxfam shop/good sammies. Then there are the abominations available to eat on your local supermarket shelves here. For example a breakfast cereal which is made of chocolate chip cookies. I kid you not, it's called cookie crunch, look it up if you want. Or cheddar cheese in an aerosol can. The label says "Made With Real Cheese!" but I am pretty sure that none of the cheddar cheese I have ever eaten was capable of being forced through a nozzle. God knows what's really in there. The size of the packages is amazing too. For example ice-cream tubs as big a 10 litre paint cans or the 18" pizza to cook at home. How long would it take to eat 10 litres of ice-cream? My little 1 litre tub lasts for months as we all know that ice-cream it the treat you have when you're not really having a treat. I do however like the fact that the packaging for a lot of products here seems not to have changed for decades unlike in Oz and the UK where they change things for no reason all the time (the mint Twix for example). 

Television: TV here seems to involve at least 80 channels, all of which will show Seinfeld at some point during the day. Or more than one point in the day. I love the fact the I can pretty much watch anything at anytime...as long as you can find it among all the ads. These are generally of three types: The owner talking about his business and how great it is, usually involving shouting at the camera. The second sort are infomercials with obviously fake "members of the public" being 'amazed' by the latest knife/swivel sweeper/time life oldies selection/non-surgical face lift. The last ones are just brilliant ads that are better than the shows. There's one on at the moment with Neil-Patrick Harris as a doctor plugging Old Spice. It is comedy gold. There are also an astonishing amount of ads for prescription medicines. I can't believe you would see an advert for asthma medication or impotence drugs or any number of other things and then go and ask you doctor for that specific drug. Oh and there's always Chuck Norris flogging something too. The number of channels here does mean that you get some odd things to watch. For example in South Dakota there are at least two channels dedicated to hunting. I don't know how much stalking and deer killing you can watch but surely not enough for two 24 hour channels. There is also a Catholic channel here. Last night it featured some nuns saying the Hail Mary over and over and  over and over and over and over again. You have to really have a thing for nuns to sit in front of that for an evening.

South Dakota: There are a few things here that surprised me. Firstly you can still smoke in restaurants here! Last night I was asked if I wanted smoking or non-smoking. I think I must have looked pretty stunned as the maitre'd felt the need to apologise and ask me again. I also think that SD must be one of those places where it's almost compulsory to carry a gun, as every shop and restaurant seems to have a sign asking you to leave your weapons outside. Saying that I haven't seen a single weapon since I've been here and the bank's don't even have bullet proof glass between you and the teller, just fresh air and a counter. Perhaps there's something in this right to bear arms thing after all. I have also discovered that cowboys don't talk like John Wayne, at least not the ones from Dakota, Wyoming and Nebraska. They sound like they are from Minnesota, and if you don't know what that's like just watch the movie Fargo (which is in North Dakota, who knew). Needless to say it's not the most tough rootin' tootin' talk in the world, in fact they sound like friendly farming folk. Which makes sense I suppose as that's what they are. 

This has been a long post so sorry about that but it's likely to be the last for a while because, due to the inverse square law of hotels, the most expensive place I've stayed so far in New York is also the one without free broadband. Can anyone explain this? The more you pay, the less you get?

So Check back in a few days and see if I've managed to jag some time at the Apple Store and used their Wi-Fi.

re - mi - do - do - sol

I've had the same five notes going round in my head all day.

Photographs

Finally posted some pictures on Flickr. Link is on the right ->

Where's Doris?

Well today has been long but interesting and involved a lot of driving, thank god for the sat nav as the road maps here seem to only show every third street and junction for some reason. Probably to keep them damn Ruskies out. Or I-wrackies, whoever it is now. I just have to mention that I think this is the most Republican place I have ever been, probably accentuated by the fact that I've been in lots of leftie-pinko cities for the last three weeks. Every house has a flag, every street has a "Support our Troops" memorial and every pick-up truck has a McCain sticker on it. In fact the venerable senator will be here in a couple of weeks for a fund raiser with Kid Rock. Who knew rock and roll and 72 year old politicians went together? In spite of this the people here are absolutely lovely. 

Actually that's just my terrible prejudices showing through. I'm sure there are lots of lovely Republicans, apparently The McCain himself is a great bloke. Just been soured by Bush, Reagan and Thatcher over the years. So if you are a nice right-winger let me know and accept my pinko apologies for judging you.

I started the day at the Western Plains Museum here in Spearfish. It was one of those great places that haven't changed for years. The type of museum where the costumes are on shop dummies from 1977 and the cabinets are full of dead animals in 'realistic' poses. The lady at the desk was amazed that I was from Australia, apparently we are a rare occurrence here, even though there is a kangaroo farm just down the road. I kid you not, people come from miles around, and even interstate, to see the "Roo Ranch". I had to explain that in Oz most of the 'roos we see are road kill. The museum drove home to me that this is the real wild west, every display involved ropin', herdin', brandin' and big hats. It doesn't look much like the old west from the movies, but that's because most of that was filmed 20 miles from downtown Los Angeles. My favourite display was the case containing the "shaved beaver". No explanation was given why this would be required but the label made me shoot ice tea out my nose.

Then it was off to Deadwood. This was a bit of a disapointment really. It looks just like an old town, all the buildings are still there but they are all full of casinos. And shops selling tat obviously. I was expecting a place a bit like Kalgoorlie, and it certainly had the feel of Kal, but Deadwood is basically, and rather aptly, a dead town. The gambling was brought in to pay for the upkeep of the historic buildings but it's failed. Just because a building has the facade of the Number 10 Saloon doesn't mean it's still the place that Wild Bill Hickock was gunned down. Especially when it's full of slot machines. And tourist tat. I was really looking forward to having a drink in the Gem Saloon, but realised that it's just a modern casino complex with a "old" sign on it. No Al Swearengen, no swearing. I think the chamber of commerce is a bit embarrassed about the HBO Deadwood as it doesn't fit with their "family friendly destination" promotion of the place (how a street full of casinos is family friendly I'll never know) and it has completely failed to capitalise on it. And lets face it that show is the main reason I'm here, I'm slightly ashamed to admit. It was interesting to go to the museum and realise that all the characters in the show are pretty much real people, although with some major artistic licence. For example in real life Sol Star and Seth Bullock actually arrived in town on the same day Wild Bill was killed. And the real Sheriff Bullock was not quite and photogenic as Timothy Olliphant. Who knows though, he might have walked in a weird way too. I also broke one of my rules today and went to see some graves. I've always thought this was a weird thing to do on holiday and a little bit pointless, but today I did go and see where Seth Bullock, Wild Bill and Calamity Jane were laid to rest. Me and 150 day trippers so not the most spiritual place I've ever been. Again it's a bit fake: the memorial on Wild Bill's grave dates from all of 2005 so there is absolutely nothing real to see. Pity. 

I can't believe it's taken me this long to realise that TV isn't real life.

Diddlie Diddlie Diddlie Diddlie Diddlie Diddlie Dum

Well howdy y'all. I'm here in deepest darkest western territory, there's country on the radio and Jesus in my heart!

Ahem, sorry bit carried away there. Actually there is only country music on the radio, or christian music. Or christian country music. All tastes catered to in these parts. Apparently South Dakota is one of the most religious states in North America. Don't ask me what that actually means but it's right up there with Mississippi and Alabama in the number of people who profess to having religion. Here ~95% say they believe in God, in the UK it's ~35%, in Sweden it's ~20%. Yay Sweden. Needless to say I'll not be wearing the "Jesus Raves" t-shirt round here, just in case they try to lynch me in that good christian way that some people seem to have. 

Flight from Vancouver to Denver was uneventful except, for once, Un-organised Airlines actually got us there ahead of schedule by 15 minutes. So we had to sit on the taxiway for 35 minutes to make up for that. From Denver to Rapid City was interesting. The plane was tiny (oh! joy) and I was sitting by a loony. Every time he spoke he spat, he coughed all over me and smelt of gum disease. My ideal travelling companion then. To be fair he was pretty friendly and thank god it was only a 65 minute flight but I was off that 'plane like a rocket.

Have picked up the hire car and managed to drive the 60 mile form Rapid City to Spearfish on the right (i.e. the wrong side, the right hand) side of the road. Not gone the wrong way yet but I am trying to avoid left turns and if there are any roundabouts in South Dakota I may have to just get out and abandon the vehicle. The car came with satnav which I have never used before. It's great but you have to trust it. To start with I thought it was sending me down farm tracks to get to the Interstate but it does actually seem to know the way. Even though I did do a few u-turns just to bait it. Speaking of the car I was looking forward to come here and hire a big, underpowered, softly sprung yank-o-barge. I even specifically booked with Alamo as they had the worst line up of Pontiac Blancmange LTDs. I know it's sad but I like cars and wanted an American one to drive round in. So they gave me a Nissan. 

I've just spent the last 10 minutes changing all the gauges and trip computers to metric. That'll teach them.

Word Cloud

I've just done a word cloud of my blog. Can you tell I'm in Canada?

No more mentions of maple syrup. Damn! Done it again.

Sorry, the flight leaves when?

Advice: Do not, under any circumstances, book 7 a.m. flights. It sounds kind of reasonable until you add in the two hour check in, and the fact that pretty much any airport in the world is a 30 minute taxi ride from your hotel, and you'll also have to check out of aforementioned hotel, plus add a bit of time for unforeseen circumstances (moose on the freeway for example). This means that the reasonable 7 a.m. flight turns into getting up at 3.45 a.m. I can assure you that this is still the middle of the night.

So here I am, again, sitting in a mostly deserted and closed airport at 5.30 in the morning, eating a cinnamon roll (so sweet I can almost hear my teeth decaying) and typing up this blog trying to kill time 'till the flight leaves. Because even though you have to be here two hours before departure, it only ever takes 20 minutes to do all the formalities. This gives you plenty of time to spend money in the duty free shops and peruse even more maple syrup displays.

Vancouver Airport is at least very pleasant, open and airy and clean. It's also a bit odd as I left Canada, walked 10 metres and entered the USA. You go through both sets of immigration in the same place. So I'm officially in the USA but actually in Canada. 

Today is going to involve a lot of airport time killing, as from here I go to Denver and have another 3 hours to kill before flying onto Rapid City, and because I've already done the immigration thing I can't even spend that time in a queue of some description.

I've just looked up at the departure board and noticed that my flight is delayed. Until 7 a.m. Which is the time I have on my ticket. What is going on now? Time to find an Un-tied Airlines Customer "Service" Operative.

Gold

I've just looked at the Olympic medal table for the first time and Great Britain seems to have only won gold medals. No bronze, no silver, only gold. How weird.

What's weirder is they've won 16 of them. That's 5 more than Russia, Germany and Australia. Obviously all that money the UK government spent on sport instead of education and healthcare has paid off (at least for the 16 people who've won medals and presumably who are also going to get fat sponsorship deals when they get home).

Pity they are all in completely lame sports like sailing, rowing and cycling. It'll be good to see all those inner city kids down the rowing club emulating their heroes.

The Hills Are Alive Part 2

I'm trying to save a bit of money at the moment (as I bought a rather expensive First Nation stone carving yesterday and now don't have enough canadian money to last the rest of the trip) and so I went to McDonalds for breakfast today. Big mistake. I ordered a sausage and egg "McGriddle" without really knowing what is was. Now this is usually a great way to discover local food and flavours, even if you do end up eating crickets or seal blubber, but don't try it at Maccas. The aforementioned monstrosity turned out to be like a "McMuffin" but instead of muffin it was a thick pancake injected with measles like spots of maple syrup (there it is again) surrounding a sausage patty, slice of 'cheese' and a slice of omelette. This one concoction contained 550 calories, 35% of the daily recommended fat intake and 61% of the daily recommended salt intake for a full grown adult. It also tasted revolting. I had one mouthful and felt so sick it went in the trash. So ends my first and last North American junk food experiment. 

Until the next one.

Anyway to walk off the 200 calories in my one mouthful I thought I'd go to Grouse Mountain. This is a beautiful mountain about 30 minutes from downtown Vancouver. It rises to about 1300 metres, has walking trails, wild animals, lumberjacks and beautiful views of downtown Vancouver and the surrounding water and lakes. In fact here's a photo I took today of the stunning vista:

Hmmmm. I'm guessing the weather was a bit better when they did the tourism blurb. As you can see the weather has finally broken and it was wet, foggy and about 9º up on the mountain and I was totally unprepared. I mean in my suitcase I've got gloves, scarf and big warm coat, so obviously when I go up a mountain I wear a T-shirt and thin cotton jacket. Not a great day, but I did see the grizzly bears. And a deer. Still it was an expensive trip up and down the mountain. I did wonder why there were people with even less clothes than me on, you know singlets and shorts and those bloody camel-bac (sic) things. Apparently there is a big group of Vancouverians-ites-icatrians (what ever they are called) who go up the mountain and run around on the trails. I mean really run as in jogging. They all looked like death warmed up when they got back to the cable-car. 

They do this for pleasure. Nutters. 

Stephen Who?

Who's the Prime Minister of Canada? Anyone? Go on take a guess!

It's Mr Stephen Harper. 

Actually it's a bit unfair to mock as I am pretty sure nobody outside Australia knows the name of our PM either*. The great thing here in Canada is that the leader of the opposition is also called Stephen...well actually it's Stéphan Dion but the French never spell things properly. I think this is a system we should all copy, as both sides of politics are completely indistinguishable from each other now anyway they may as well be lead by people with the same name. 

They also have very sensible naming systems for the parties here. Conservative on the right - who want things to stay the same, or conserve them - and Liberal on the left - who want to change things and be more liberal. So much clearer than Liberals who are right wing, Labour who is left wing, but only sometimes and depending on the spelling, Democrats who are slightly less right wing and Republicans who are...well we all know what they are.

So next time you're in Canada wish Stephen and Stéphan luck in this year's elections.

*It's Kevin Rudd in case you've forgotten. Or 'Kev' to his mates.

Old School

I've just been into the Hudson's Bay Company, founded 2nd May, 1670. 1670! 

It must be the oldest extant company in North America, in fact anywhere. Let's face it there aren't many branches of The East India Trading Company still open in England. I mean it's just another department store now but I still think it's amazing that the organisation founded to be the de facto government of North America for Britain is still a going concern.

Long live the Empire.

Music of the Cranes

Vancouver is in the midst of a building boom for the 2010 Winter Olympics and there are cranes everywhere, which reminds me a lot of Perth. There are a few other thing that make this feel like Perth too. Firstly there is the 'help wanted' signs in every window, it looks like you can't get good staff here at the moment here either, I don't think they have a resources boom but they do have an oil, timber and tourism boom. Mind you now the US housing market has collapsed it'll be interesting to see how long the timber boom continues as 90% of US houses are built with timber (or lumber as they say over here) from British Columbia. Secondly there are soaring property prices here. Although they are still a bit cheaper than Perth. For example a 1 bed 1 bath trendy new apartment in the city is about CAD$380,000 compared to AUD$450,000. A difference here is that no one in Vancouver is allowed to own absolute waterfront land, so the millionaires are kept away from the beaches, inlets and rivers. This is good. The more chances there are for rich people to have to look at hippies sitting in front of their property the better if you ask me. 

Of course in Perth you can't own absolute waterfront property anyway as there is probably a freeway, dual lane road or railway line on it. This is another similarity with the antipodes most remote city; the way that the car seems to get precedence over people. For example last night I went for dinner at a little diner on the waterfront, just across from where all the cruise ships dock. Unfortunately the diner was underground in a shopping centre while the cars in the car park had views of the water and mountains. I mean who decided that was a good idea? A blind architect? 

One thing that Vancouver, and Seattle, have that Perth could really do with is a fantastic fresh market. In Seattle it's the Pike Place Market and in Vancouver the Granville Island Market. Both are brilliant, full of fresh cheese, fruit, art, eating places, microbreweries, seafood straight out of the water and fresh meat and deli items from round the sates. I went there today and bought some great bread, cheese and fruit, I'm eating BC raspberries as I type this. I know we've got Fremantle Markets but that just seems a bit too much tourist trap and not enough market. Maybe as Perth gets more cosmopolitan and people get sick of the supermarkets we'll get something like these.

I also had a wander round Stanley Park today and went to the Aquarium. Both were great but the Aquarium was full of kids, in the audience not in the tanks obviously, and most of them were little horrors. The park was great, but the woman walking round behind me was on the 'phone to someone talking very loudly about her constipation. Just too much information. Do these people think that everyone else in the world is deaf or do they think we really want to know all bout their bowels?

The cutest things at the aquarium were the sea otters. So cute, like little living teddy bears. I'm pretty sure they would stink of fish though. Apparently one of the otters here is the last survivor of the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound. And did you also know that that boat is still sailing round the world under a different name?

I'm so glad big corporations get their proper punishment for causing the worlds worst ecological disaster so far (Exxon managed to get their punitive damages reduced from $5 billion to $516 million, and got the insurance payout for the ship!).

Dangerous Sports

Apparently in Australia soccer is gaining popularity as so many kids are playing it in preference to Aussie Rules and rugby, encouraged by their parents who see it as a safer alternative to the rough and tumble contact sports.

Spare a thought for the Canadian Mums then, whose little darlings want to play ice hockey, possibly the most dangerous sport I have ever seen. 

I wonder if David Beckham is famous here yet?

Braaaaaaaaains!

There were 1,000 zombies lurching through the streets of Vancouver today on the second annual "Zombie Walk". I have no idea why Vancouver has an annual zombie walk but they seemed to be having fun. It must be the slowest parade in the world what with all the lurching and foot dragging. 

Apart from the zombies there are also thousands of pensioners here off the cruise ships, who also look a bit like the living dead. These massive liners arrive everyday right in the city centre at the cruise terminal and disgorge thousands of people who have got about 24 hours to see the entire city. There are about 1,000,000 passengers here each year and it is a massive earner for the City (each ship pays CAD$50,000 to dock for those 24 hours). I don't know what the taxi drivers would do here if the boats ever stop coming as they were queuing for about four city block this morning waiting to pick people up. And some of those Americans are a pretty heavy load I can assure you. I didn't see many big people in SF and Seattle, obviously because they are all on Alaskan cruises.

I've noticed that not everything is bilingual here, only the official stuff like the post office and government buildings. A lot of the food has both languages on it, it's very odd to see HP sauce in French (Sauce à HP if you're wondering). I think it's a bit like Wales, if you can get away with ignoring the other language you do. I've seen a few Québecois around but either my French has got really bad or they have a completely different pronunciation to the 'French' French. However some things are very un-English. Like the toilets for example. I've been to a couple now where you can pee and still see all the people walking by. Very european.

I was beginning to think that all Ramada hotels are in really rough areas. For example the one in Seattle was round the corner from a homeless shelter, food bank and half a dozen all night liquor stores. This one is up the road from a homeless shelter, next door to a hostel for elderly disabled people and across from a really rough looking bar. But I've realised that it's not so much that the hotels are in bad places, more that in North America the nice touristy areas are just steps away from murderville. It's like that in San Francisco: Gucci and Neiman Marcus are just about 2 blocks from the Tenderloin and here Gastown, which is a very touristy historic area, is about 500 metres from some really REALLY bad parts of town, in fact the poorest and most socially disadvantaged area in the entire of Canada. I really don't know why this is unless it's just that the cities themselves are so much more compact than those in Australia.

And one last thing. The Canadians really love maple syrup. So far I've seen maple syrup as syrup, maple syrup lollies, maple syrup honey, maple syrup soap, maple syrup candles, maple syrup ice cream, maple syrup chocolate, maple syrup coffee...and maple syrup beer.

I think that's one step too far.

O! Schizophrenia

I discovered today that there are two Vancouvers, one in Canada, which I wanted to go to, and one in Washington, which I didn't. This could have caused problems as they are in completely opposite directions. 

The train journey from Seattle to Vancouver (British Columbia) was great, slow but dignified. Less hassle that the airport as there is no security before you get on. Obviously if you can only afford a train ticket then you must be expendable. There were however many queues, as is required in any travelling experience: One to get your ticket, one to load you luggage, one to get your seat assignment and one to get on the train. But at least I didn't have to deal with airport personnel with their unique interpretation of customer "service". The weirdest thing is that I have arrived in Canada and my passport hasn't been checked by the US Immigration Service, only the Canadian ones. God knows what'll happen when I go back into the US as officially I haven't left! The Canadian immigration agent really grilled me too, I think it's the Australian Passport and British accent mismatch which the Canadians can obviously pick up on.

Canada must have a hell of a case of schizophrenia: the cars are American, the speeds, distances and temperatures are metric, the Coke cans are in French and the Queen is on the money. I mean is anyone in charge here? However it does have some signs of advanced civilisation in spite of the French.

There's a pub in the library. Brilliant!

Wheels on the Bus

We went on a trip yesterday, from Seattle to Mount Rainier, on an organised tour. The bus seemed to be full of people for the deep south - Mobile, Alabama: Miami, Florida and Mississippi to name a few. There was much discussion of grits and biscuits and gravy. I have no idea what these are but they sound so unappetising I'm not surprised they have never taken off. I can't quite imagine McDonalds with a burger and grits taking over the world.

American bus tours are very odd. The drivers are obsessed with toilets and food. When you get on the first thing you are told is when the next "restroom" will be (if you need a rest go to bed, if you need to pee call it a toilet!) and where the food stops will be. Then there are regular updates on the next peeing and eating opportunities. I genuinely don't understand this, Americans must have bladders the size of golf-balls. The rest of the trip was interesting, great scenery and beautiful views: as long as you ran to them. You see 90% of Americans, when visiting national parks and places of breathtaking beauty, never leave their cars. Actually they do leave their cars but only to go into the snack bar and restrooms at the park's visitors centre. Then they get back in the Hummer and drive back to the city. This means that the tours are designed around this system; so you find yourself driving on the bus for four hours, then get 40 minutes to enjoy the park and take a walk, then get back on the bus, drive for another 2 hours then get 15 minutes to walk around. Carol and I found ourselves literally sprinting round the hiking trails to try and take in the views then running back to the bus to find all the Americans already sitting there waiting to go. It didn't help that yesterday is was 90º. It was a bit annoying, especially when we realised we could have hired a convertible and done it ourselves for the same money as the tour. Admittedly we wouldn't have had a clue what we were looking at but at least we wouldn't have seen it flying by in a blur.

The National Park Service also has some habits that are a bit odd. For example they seem obsessed with building carparks and roads and visitor centres. Actually that makes perfect sense considering their market. The other thing is that they build these pull over spots so you can look at the view and then plant trees in front of them! Many times driving along there were beautiful views but when the driver pulled over there was nothing to see except the trees. Bizarre.

Seattle itself is really nice. It seems to be the weird hat and tattoo capital of the West Coast. I think I saw more inked skin and beanies, trilbies, peruvian caps, hombergs, bandanas and thirties flat caps in Seattle than in San Francisco. However it had a really bohemian feel to it and seems to have a young and groovy population too. Carol managed, in her usual way, to chat up the waitress in the bar last night and get loads of info about the cool places to go, the alternate scene on Freemont and Capital Hill. If we'd been staying longer it would have been great. The best thing for me was the traffic lights hanging on wires over the street just like in the movies. Everywhere else so far has had them on boring old poles. Something else I noticed was that, even though Seattle is the home of Microsoft, you still only see iPods and Apple stores. I know some of my readers will like that...well...Andrew.

It's also the home of some pretty cool people. For example Jimi Hendrix was from Seattle. We saw the guitar he played at Woodstock which I thought was brilliant. Heart are from Seattle as are Queensrhÿce, Sir Mix-A-Lot and Bing Crosby and the Kingsmen.

OK maybe only one cool person is from Seattle.

Fake Olympics

You know I just don't believe this.

Or then again maybe I do.

Starbuck

I had a nerdy day today at the Space Needle and Science Fiction Hall of Fame. So many sci-fi props, so many nerds and even the original Death Star. I was in my element, especially when I saw the Steve Austin action figures that I lost when I was a kid. If this was a TV show there'd be wiggly lines and harp music as I flashed back. They even had a Cylon! Most of the stuff was from the collection of Paul Allen. He's the co-founder of Microsoft so has impeccable nerd credentials.

I also saw the original Starbuck's today. You'd think that would be my idea of hell, but as Seattle is the home of Starbuck's it seemed to be the thing to do. I can even cope with a Starbuck's on every corner here as they are totally out numbered by all the other coffee shops around. I thought the original store would be different in some way, or some fuss or issue made of it but it was just another boring, ordinary Starbuck's. I think this may be why they are failing. Originally they succeeded because they were different from everything else but now they are just ALL the same. And how many times can I type Starbuck's in one paragraph.

It's really beautiful here, feels very much like Melbourne. Low rise and pretty, European in style and the city is surrounded by mountains, water and trees. And there is a surprisingly low number of fat people here. In fact there were hardly any in San Francisco either. Perhaps the Americans really are slimming down and the Aussies are taking over. I'll keep you posted on the FQ (fatso quotient) when I get to the less cosmopolitan places

Now I'm just sitting watching an episode of Frasier while sitting in Seattle. Which is a bit like having an out of body experience what with the space Needle on the TV and outside the window.

United Arse'oles

Don't fly United. They are, apparently "The Friendly Skies®" but they charged me $100 as my bag was 9lbs over weight. $11 per lb. $25 per kilo! OK I know it's a bit over but here's my issue:

When you travel on international flights you are allowed one bag that weighs up to 32 Kg. When you get to America you are allowed two bags, but each must weigh no more than 23 kg. So I need to have my luggage in one big bag and two small bags at the same time. What really pissed me off with the payment issue was that I am not ACTUALLY over the weight allowed on the 'plane, which by my maths is 46 kgs. It just seems like a way to extract money from their passengers. United Airlines is very good at this, you pay for luggage, you pay to check in extra bags, you pay to eat on the plane, you pay for headphones on the longer flights etc. etc.

Needless to say tomorrow I'm going bag shopping.

Carol decided to come to Seattle with me, so she came into SF yesterday and managed to book herself into a hotel in the Tenderloin. If you don't know what this is I'll just say that this morning the homeless were queueing at the soup kitchen on the corner of her block and if you want heroin, this is the place to go. The Tenderloin that is not Carol. She survived though which was good. It was actually an evening of derring-do as the two girls who Carol had been on camp with were travelling to LA on the Greyhound. Overnight. This is what is known as a near death experience. A Coastguard we met in the pub was absolutely stunned that two girls would travel on the Greyhound on their own at all, let alone at night. He pretty much offered to drive them to LA so they wouldn't be killed in their sleep. They did make it though as we got a message this morning. 

Anyhow I left San Francisco this morning after watching a very bizarre breakfast show featuring drag queens. It was just like Mel and Kochie, even down to the weather and traffic, but with drag queens. Only in San Francisco I suppose. Carol flew Alaskan Airways and had a loveley trip, I came United - see above.

Seattle seems to be a beautiful place, we sat at a restaurant overlooking Elliott Bay drinking booze and eating seafood. All very civilised.

I'm glad to get out of SF as I seemed to be attracting religious nutters. I was quite surprised there are that many to be honest. One evening I was on the tram and a guy with two bibles came and sat next to me. That's two bibles, as one is never enough. He was pretty harmless though, unlike the guy who came to sit by me in Union Square on Sunday. I was sitting there minding my own business, having a coffee and watching the world go by when another bible toting nutter came by and started reading aloud. Unfortunately he was really bad at reading. Mumbling, then spouting some random words, then loosing his place and starting at another verse. My favourite was "The lord sent his son ..mumble..he was..mumble..called Mary". 

I must have missed that part of the story at sunday school.

War?

Apparently there's a war going on in Europe.  

Anyone got any information as I've only got 45 TV channels and none of them have mentioned it.

Very Secure

I thought it was supposed to be security conscious here? I may have been misinformed. For example on every flight I've been on since 11/9 in Australia, from Australia to Europe or from Australia to Asia I have had to have a plastic knife. This is for "security" after those events in New York we are told. But on the flight from Asia to the US the other day I got metal knives! Weird. Also if you buy a SIM card for your 'phone in Australia or Singapore or the UK now you have to show id, and register the card. For "security" after London, Madrid and Mumbai. But here, apparently the place that everyone want to have a go at, you don't. You just go into the shop and they sell you a SIM, no registration, no id, no worries. 

It's interesting that government interference in your day to day freedoms in other parts of the world, which is 'justified' by incidents that have happened in the US, are not followed in the US itself. 

Just remember that next time the Government, Daily Mail or Channel 7 invoke 11/9 to justify another piece of intrusive legislation. 

Here's a Tip

Seeing as the US is "land of the free" where you can "follow the American Dream" and by "working hard you can achieve anything" I didn't expect to come across so many people wanting something for nothing. Or next to nothing. 

Firstly there are the panhandlers - or beggars more pejoratively - who are everywhere here. They don't even try to be appealing like they do in Oz. No selling the Big Issue, no playing an ethnic instrument (no matter how badly). Nothing. They just stand around rattling a cup. Or have a sign usually saying something like "Trying to buy a ticket to Des Moines. Give money". I would have thought it kinder to help them leave Des Moines, not go there, to be honest. Some of them try a little, I just saw a guy with a sign saying "Need a Hooker, Please Help". Honesty is always the best policy I believe. I have given some money away. Last night there was a friendly wino opening the door at McDonalds and giving directions to the tourists. So I chucked some change in his cup. I mean at least he was being useful. The other good thing is you can throw a lot of change here and it doesn't amount to much, as there are no $1 and $2 coins, but at least it might help them with their next meal (or drink, who am I kidding?).

The other type who want something for nothing are the people in the service industry but their begging is called "tipping". This is beginning to both infuriate me and confuse me. As far as I can understand the whole point of tipping is to reward good service. But the service here is pretty average to be honest and they still want 20% as a tip! If you buy a drink at the bar you are supposed to tip the barman a dollar every time he serves you a drink. EVEN THOUGH THAT IS HIS ONLY REASON TO BE THERE! All he does is turn to the fridge and open a bottle then put it on the bar. Where is the added service in that? On the other hand when I go to a coffee shop and the guy takes the order and works the machine and hands me the coffee, all in all a more complicated procedure, I don't have to tip. If I go to a diner and have a plate of food delivered to the table I tip, if I go to a fast food place and they bring the food over, I don't tip. Who makes these rules up? 

Here's a suggestion, just pay everyone a decent wage, get universal health care and a social security system that works, tax all the billionaires and millionaires in the country a sensible amount to pay for it and you can get rid of most of the beggars and all the tipping. Works in Sweden and sort of works everywhere else.

Now that's a good tip.

But Is It Art?

I went to the SFMOMA today. That's the San Francisco Museum Of Modern Art and it was no Tate Modern I can assure you. I don't know why but modern/contemporary art seems to be the new tourist attraction all over the world. The place today was packed, mostly because of the Frida Kahlo exhibition. It's amazing how people will go along to an artist's retrospective because they've been told that it's great art. There were loads of people there who obviously had no idea who Frida Kahlo was and the rest of them probably only knew her because of the movie with Salma Hayek and her prosthetic eyebrow. Actually I think she was a pretty average, and her obsession with her self-portraiture is mystifying: I mean she was no looker bless her. 

The rest of the museum was average, I was especially disappointed with the photography gallery, hardly any modern American photographers represented. In fact hardly anything past 1960. Not even any Mapplethorpe or Leibowitz. Hope the MoMa in NYC is better. However I did discover today that if the US Government is really serious about security they should employ middle aged gallery curator ladies. These women are really vicious and prowl the halls of galleries all over the world ready to shout "NO FLASH!". God forbid you take a photo in the wrong place or step too near to the artworks. I also noticed today that the only gallery that photography (with or without flash) wasn't allowed was the one showing Chinese art. Even here the Chinese government can control your liberties.

Spent the afternoon wandering around the Castro; if Disneyland is the 'happiest place on earth®' then the Castro is the gayest place on earth. Bar none. Every shop has a rainbow flag and it must be one of the few places in the world where the Body Shop is next door to a leather bar and a business selling "silicone replicas". Just use your imagination for that one. It's actually a beautiful part of the city and feels like a little village. The sort of place where people actually say hello to their neighbours. You can always rely on the gay boys and girls to get that gentrification just right. I had the most fantastic cup of hot chocolate in a little café, bizarrely run by a woman from Melbourne. It was one of the few places that didn't have a name that was a double entendre such as The Sausage Factory and Squat & Gobble. Or maybe they are completely innocent and I just have a dirty mind?

If you are ever in the US and have a spare half hour to kill I suggest a wander round a super-market, any one will do, to see the vast array of weird food that they have here. Most of it involving peanut butter in some way as far as I can tell. I was just in Safeway (where I was accused of having an accent, can you believe that?) and stocked up on Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos and Twinkies. No they are not euphemisms - although saying "have you seen my Ding Dong" could get you into trouble - but cream filled cake confections. They all have different descriptions on the packet but I can report they all taste the same, of sugar. 

I have also discovered a better tasting Hershey Bar, it's filled with peanut butter.

The Hills Are Alive

They say San Francisco is hilly. What they mean is San Francisco is vertical. I've been walking around for the last couple of days and realised that this town will give you calves like a rhino after a while. It can be deceiving, you're walking along, looking at your map, thinking "OK along Vallejo then left on Kearney".  What the map doesn't show you is that Kearney is almost vertical. Seriously, I mean I don't have my plumb bob with me but it seemed like it was vertical. 85º at least.

Actually that's the only thing that's near 85º as the weather here is freezing. I had packed my big warm coat away at the bottom of the suitcase but I had to get it out again. The weather forecast keeps saying 60º which sounds OK but that's only 15º in new money and that is too cold. I'm pretty sure it's meant to be summer here but you can't quite tell. Actually you can tell because the city is full of northern Europeans on their holidays. This is a good thing actually because it means I can blend in and not look too much like a tourist as nobody ever looks more like a tourist than a German or Frenchman on holiday.  

So far some things here are great and some are infuriating, or at least weird. Good things are the public transport, both cheap and effective. Still full of weirdos though. Also you get plenty of clothes hangers in American hotel wardrobes (I believe they are called closets over here) unlike the two or three you get in Australian hotels. Weird things include all the light switches being upside down, you flip them up for on and down for off. Why? The toilets flush with spectacular force which is a bit disconcerting but not necessarily a bad thing, if you get my drift. 

However the chocolate is revolting. I mean I know the americans like cheese but I'm pretty sure the Hershey Bar I ate also had a hint of cheddar about it. Not good. And they cannot make a decent cup of tea here to save their lives. As you know tea actually is life saving for the English so this is an issue. I bought a cup from an actual tea shop yesterday and it was directly responsible for me splitting my trousers. That may sound hard to believe but it was. I ordered a cup of earl grey and it came in this huge bucket sized paper cup, it was also made with water that seemed to be at 298,000º C. So to cool it down so I could drink it and hold it I knelt down to add some cold water and managed to put my knee through the trousers I just bought in Singapore! Hopefully they are fixable as they are really cool and it's a bugger of a way to go to return them. I'm sending them home now as I can't wear them so at least it's one less thing to carry. 

I went to Fisherman's Wharf yesterday.  If you are ever in San Francisco I would recommend you AVIOD it like the plague. Bloody awful tourist trap. Actually I did know that before I went but it was so bad that I was surprised. I'm sure when I was here in '94 it wasn't that tacky. They have the worst buskers in the world, places selling prawn containing food on every corner (great if you have a prawn allergy) and shops selling tat. There was however a company running tours on Segways. I am so tempted. You have to wear a stupid crash hat though.

I caught up with Carol today in Sausalito across the bay.  Went on the ferry which was great, got to see Alcatraz and thought I'd get a great pic of the Golden Gate Bridge.  However, even though the sun was coming out, the Bridge was still shrouded in fog. Not the most reliable tourist attraction in the world. Carol has been working at a summer camp for the last few weeks. I have to say it sounds like hell, and not just 'cos of the American children involved. She's been living in a tent, showering with the horses and being poisoned by the food on a regular basis. Apparently this is a right of passage for American kiddies. A bit like trial by a million cuts by the sounds of it. She's not working there anymore though. It's complicated, I'm sure she'll explain why, so you better read her emails. I've actually seen quite a few groups of kids on 'camp' (you have to say it in an american accent to get the full effect) around the city. another reason you know that it's the summer here I guess. The first lot were all little tackers holding hands in a big crocodile at Fisherman's Wharf, singing a little song in their sing song way. It was like an episode of Sesame Street.  The next lot were all teenage asian kids and the last lot were all teenage Hispanic kids. I'm guessing from this that 'camp' is not the most melting pot of places, all very racially separate. 

This may be a gross generalisation but until I see a rainbow group of campers I'm sticking to it.